You’re A Natural Born Asshole

1680x2240OMGish!  The shear number of guys in my life that I could get these for! It’s true – you know it and we know it. But it’s okay because you’re OUR asshole, and we love you for that!

But seriously… do you always need to be an ass?  If I get you a cool pair of socks will you be nicer?

That asshole deserves a pat on the back and some cool socks to fill those big shoes of theirs!

Get some NATURAL BORN ASSH*LE MEN’S SOCKS and more jerky gifts at PK!

Your shit will smell like roses.

Uranus Lavatory Mist

Meyer Lemon, Bergamot, and Rose Scent

And now, for an in-depth look into Uranus Lavatory Mist…

Blah blah blah, something about gaseous planets… enough with the fluff, already! Here’s the deal: “Uranus” is never not funny. So, we ran with it.

Butt, in case you didn’t know… Uranus’s atmosphere is rich in methane and its upper atmosphere experiences strong wind traveling in the direction of its rotation. Also, Uranus sounds like “your anus.”

 

Check out the backside... for an in-depth look at Uranus.

Check out the backside… for an in-depth look at Uranus.

Scented with Meyer lemon, bergamot, and rose. Plastic bottle. Measures 6 inches high x 1.75 inches diam. 5.3 fl. oz. Made in the USA. A thoughtful gift for someone interested in the planetary system, or your inner 5-year old… Check out our Uranus Lavatory Mist and more hilarious gifts at Perpetual Kid.com!

Tire-d of Typical Planters?

Are you “tired” of typical planters? Ready for a “change”? Don’t tread lightly, put the rubber to the road and pop a plant into our tirelessly cool Yard Goods Tire Planter! 🌵

yardgoods_tireplanter_env2__57350.1486391359.380.380This classic piece of roadside Americana is perfect for succulents, air plants, and even herbs – you’re guaranteed to get a lot of mileage out of it!  🚜 🚗 🚙

Pile on the charm as this short stack fits on your desk, side table or countertop, creating a unique urban accent.

Don’t be a prick and keep it all for yourself! Pick a spare one up today- it’s always a good idea to have an extra gift on hand in case an emergency arises!   It’s a great host/hostess, or house warming gift!

Desktop Planter Yard Goods Tire Stack

Made of matte-finished ceramic, and packed in a full-color gift box. Measures approximately 3 inches tall x 4 inches wide.

Pick up a spare Yard Goods Tire Planter and other wacky, unique gifts at PK!

Lap Cat Napkins

Lap Cat Napkins

Fur real? Mew must be kitten with those a-paw-ling table manners! 😾

Meow don’t let your next dinner paw-ty end in a disaster. Afterall, no fancy feast is complete without our playful paper Lap Cat Napkins – These folded feline fur’ends are the purr’furred way to keep your whiskers clean! 🍴🐈

Lap Cat Napkins

Whether they’re after your food or napping on your lap, the characterful cats on our Cat Napkins know how to get a dinner party started. And with 4 different designs per pack, you’ll have no trouble creating aww-inspiring table settings for your cat loving friends.

Purrfect Dinner Guest Lap Cat Napkins

Sigmund Freud once said that ‘time spent with cats is never wasted’, so what are you waiting for? A purrfect gift for the hostess with the mostess (cats!)

Purrfect Dinner Guest Lap Cat Napkins

Order your very own LAP CAT NAPKINS right meow at PK!

Beer Cotton Candy

Crack Open A Cool Fluffy One

Feeling a little bitter and pale waiting for happy hour to come around? Try gulping down a few handfuls of our Beer Cotton Candy!

Beer Cotton Candy

With an irresistible flavor, each batch is hand-crafted, packed fresh, and is burp free!

Did we mention that it’s home brewed in the USA?!  Annnnd, it’s all natural with no artificial colors or flavors! Plus it’s only 110 calories to chug the whole thing! That’s like the equivalent of a lite beer! We’ll drink to that!  CHEERS! 🍻

We totally pitcher this being a terrific gift for any beer lover!  They’ll be more than hoppy to crack upon a cool fluffy one!

Pick up a single or a 6-pack of Beer Cotton Candy and other wacky, tasty, unique gifts at PK!

 

Calm the f**k down

Calm The F*ck Down (Tea)

Adulting can be hard. Like, really hard. A big gulp of our Calm The F*ck Down Snarky Tea can help.  ☕😌 #drinkyourfeelingsCalm The Fuck Down Snarky Tea

It’s a slippery slope to full blown meltdown territory… and ain’t nobody got time for that. Help keep your emotions in check with some subversive humor and some tasty herbs.

Besides being an awesome gift capable of eliciting a fit of giggles this tea will actually help you chill out! This ultra chill tea contains Green Rooibos which serve as an anti-inflammatory while improving circulation, aiding digestion and relieving hypertension. On top of that, it’s beneficial for your bones, teeth, hair and skin.

Give the gift of chilling the f**k out to someone you care about or perhaps chuck it at someone who just really needs to take it down a notch before they self-destruct.

Get CALM THE F**K DOWN SNARKY TEA and more outrageous teas, cheeky drinking vessels, and adorable tea infusers at PK!

Calm The F**k Down Snark Tea

Wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man

It’s Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man! (Pool Float!)

Wacky Waving Tube Man Pool FloatNow you can finally afford that dancing-waving-arm-flailing-inflatable guy from the car wash – you know, the one with the sick dance moves! Someone, please take him on a well-deserved vacation or your local pool. He’s single and ready to mingle! 🌊🌞

Our Wacky Waving Tube Man Pool Float is hoping to make some serious waves this Spring Break! Prepare to bring the gift of dance and belly laughs to your next pool party! It’s Always Sunny when Sweet Dee’s dance instructor is on board!

Pool arm candy, river tubing buddy, carpool plus-one, chill buddy, beach pal… Always the crowd pleaser, he’s happy to accompany you on any and all adventures!

Get our WACKY WAVING TUBE MAN POOL FLOAT and for more crazy unique pool + beach gear at PK!

Happy Rainbow Swim Up Bar

Attention:  The lovers, the dreamers, and you!

Now you can keep your drink close, and your friends closer with Our Happy Rainbow Swim Up Pool Bar!  Talk about a Rainbow Connection!

This colorful rainbow float is the physical embodiment of a magical mirage on a steamy hot day. There may not be a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, you will find  6 ice-cold drinks waiting for you! 🌈 🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹

Happy Rainbow Swim Up Bar

Somewhere over the Rainbow Swim Up Bar… drinks stay dry.

Our amazing inflatable rainbow beverage cooler is a swim-up bar that keeps your drinks handy at the pool party – there’s even storage for extra ice!  For an instant rainbow just mix water, sunshine, and some mixed drinks wouldn’t hurt either! Oh, and for this 5 foot wide inflatable rainbow you’ll need a healthy set of lungs, or perhaps a small pump.

It’s a whimsical addition to any pool party! It deflates easily so feel to take it on vacation with you too! Maybe the lake, beach, river… there’s a rainbow of possibilities!

Get our RAINBOW SWIM UP POOL BAR and more awesome beach and pool gear at PK!